Cover Letter: More Personality

Selena Dehne of JIST Publishing in CareerBuilder.com stresses the importance of showing hiring managers that your value is more than the data points and punchy phrases on your resume.

“You’ve got a personality, passions, goals and career experiences that make you unlike any other candidate for the job,” she adds. “It’s up to you to share this information in your cover letter in a way that dazzles employers and strengthens your resume.”

The cover letter needs verse, sparkle and finesse. A cut-and-paste retread from your resume is redundant and squanders a prime opportunity to stand out from the crowd.
“A lot of people write cover letters as if they were paragraph-form resumes,” notes writer Seth Porges in Forbes magazine. “Instead, use your cover letter to show personality, curiosity, and an interest in the field you are applying to work in.”

Should you write like you talk in a cover letter? Some experts believe that an authentically personal, conversational tone is more effective than formal business writing style. The safest approach is to be clear, concise, and businesslike without being stilted. Be yourself, but avoid colloquialisms and clichés.

I talked to John today, about my pack and cover letter before sending them off. The pack was given an absolute green light and the only advice he gave me was to bring more of my personality into the cover letter. So here's my second attempt:

I'm not quite sure if this is any better, but I've tried to put in more of me in it and also I've tried to make it more personal for each studio by adding in what I saw on their websites that pulled me in (the above example is for 'A Productions' in Bristol). I can't tell whether I'm coming across as passionate or cheesy though? hahaha, I'll ask John again. It's a little longer than the previous letter, but what can you do eh? I'll be folding this in half and putting it in the pack like that, if I get a green light for it.

edited 17/10/15:

Letter has just been approved by John! Posted 4 of them today, but they won't even get picked up 'til monday anyway so no rush I guess. Also I decided to stick my stickers on the back of the letters so they'd stand out from other mails! (also to keep envelop secure because the sticky part is not very sticky.)